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Mai Nguyen [: Explore the depths within my subconscious, heart, and soul. Don't be afraid. No judgement. Express and not to Impress. Let the mind roam free. Don't get phase, phase it. ECH Senior & MiraCosta College Freshie.

My friends tell me I need to be less picky with my guys and it’ll help me stop all these flings but- either way. I’m only picky mainly because I don’t want to get hurt again and I know what I want. I don’t want to waste my time. I’ve tried several different types of guys and maybe it’s because I’ve only met the douche of those types but even with a sweet guy, he may not know it but still did me some harm. Like I’m done with that. I may have my guard up more, be less open, play with a guy more, but that’s just to see if this guy meets my expectations and I’m sure I don’t get hurt as much. Being picky does suck because the type of guy I want rarely exist but he is out there and I’m willing to be patient. I know my friends just want what’s best for me and want to see my happy but I’m just tired of all the pain is all.

I miss most of my close friends and those who have been there for me and I don’t get to see them often or talk. Glad we took pictures and made great memories. But, what made me pretty sad was all these pictures, posts, and videos with old flings or guys. Made me realized I’ve been with too many, most of them, the bad memories conquered the good memories and sad how much they’ve changed and the thoughts and flashbacks of such hatred really hurts. Others that didn’t turn out like that, thank you for the memories and giving your time to make me feel special [: Guess, you still need time to recover or I wasn’t special enough to keep your attention. Some, you just talked only about yourself so I kinda stopped wanting to talk, just waiting to see if you noticed or keep the effort to try to talk to me. Yeah, you may be cute or totally hot and amazingly talented but let your personality show. Rather disappointing you will say some nice stuff about me to some anon or to your friends but not to me. Say I’m worth it then, just give up. Seeing those silly pictures and watching those cute/stupid videos of us made me smile a bit and laugh, I know its over and enjoy the memories since you’ve made me happy at one point in my life. Well, going to see if any guys wanna keep trying or go with the flow, enjoy the single life, and wait patiently for the right guy to come along while making more memories with friends! Live moves on and you must carry on [:

Thanks for playing with my heart. Lying to me. Deceiving me. Cheating on me. Backstabbing me. Talking shit behind my back. Loosing my trust. Creating more issues for me. Callings me horrible names. Causing more drama for me. Always maddogging me. Making me look bad. But thank you for all the sweet memories we use to have. Too bad you had to ruin things after I have it my all. But all the pain you but me through helped me change for the better. Showed me what I truly wanted and need for my next love. Push me to challenge and destroy my walls of insecurities and trust issues. You guys are the reasons for me becoming the person that I am today which I’ve improved so much. Thanks.