That feeling of when you want to cry or express how you really feel to somebody close to you but your afraid after you explain that, they’ll be scared of you or think of you totally different and leave you away. I don’t want to loose that person but then again you’ll figure out that they truly weren’t a close friend and get even more hurt.
Guys & Girls with the most confidence, may be the ones with the most insecure.
Sure, they look like everything is just peachy and living life to the fullest. Other envy at how happy they can be. Just smiling and laughing, cracking up jokes, being the life of the party. Looking like they put no effort into being so energetic or being so cool. They may be the popular one in school or gets along with everybody but, do you know they only act like that so others won’t find out. They don’t want to bother people with their problems. They have to hide their tears and pain through jokes and fake smiles. Scared nobody will care or think of them like trash once they vent on what’s bothering them. Not knowing who to trust. Being hurt over and over again. The one played or playing others. Worrying about what others see them. They just stay quiet while their insecurities eat them away inside. They will just say,” Oh that’s cool.” “I’m fine.” ” It’s all good.” “Don’t mind me.” “Nothings wrong” Ask them what’s wrong. Don’t believe them with their laugh or fake smiles. Look into their eyes and say,” Don’t lie to me. There is definitely something wrong. Don’t bottle it up inside. I’m here and you can vent whatever is bothering you.”
Sometimes I wonder who I am now
Sometimes I wonder who I am. I never realize what I’ve done until I’ve already done it. If I try to make things better, it could have worked, or just made things worst. Sometimes I let my emotions or stress get the better of me. Sometimes I’m like fuck that shit and be one hellz of a lazyass and be a jerk sometimes. But I’ve worked so hard to not become that one person who I use to be and despise so much. I finally became that person I’ve always dreamed of then misfortune happens. Drama, broken hearts, lost ones. You know that stuff and you end up reverting back so you don’t feel hurt anymore or want to regain that love you have lost or generate angry and revenge. But for right now I think I need to figure out who I like and stop flirting because I’ve denied that I’m a flirt but lately i realized my actions and they seem way out of control. It’s like if I can’t get this guy, I’ll have this one. Oh he’s kinda boring next. Oh he didn’t realize I gave him the biggest hint ever and single and he didn’t notice bye bye. Oh he’s cute I’ll talk and do whatever to him. NO that is really not okay and i led things to worst but I’ve talked to a few, even though I was scared of hurting them it wasn’t that bad but I still need to improve a who lot more! But I just put a really strong face and happy energy around me so others won’t realize how hurt, scared, and insecure I am about myself. But hey everybody gets like that but one thing that hasn’t changed about me is my love for my friends and family and how I will always be there by their side and protect them from anything.